I am a huge fan of "screen time". Sad to say that in our current society this typically means watching movies, sitting in front of a computer or trying to carry on a conversation with one person while texting to another simultaneously. The kind of "screen time" I am referring to started in my home right after we moved into our new house five years ago. I didn't pick out much in the new house, but I did request a screened in porch as well as screens in EVERY window of the house. My kind of "screen time" usually takes place every spring and autumn when the temperatures are just right. My girls will come to me, the great meteorologist, at bedtime and ask if it is an "open window" night. They love sleeping with their windows open and hearing the sound of crickets or of cars passing.
On one such evening I was making the usual nightly rounds from one daughter's room to the next and plopping myself on the bed trying to answer all of life's most difficult questions. I still don't know how water towers work, but I gave an impressive answer. I may not see the sense in learning the metric system, but I still told them that we wouldn't be skipping that lesson. I gave some very good answers on my first three stops, and felt confident that # 4 would go smoothly. This daughter's room faces the north side of the house and the cool breezes were so refreshing. I found her with arms folded up on the window sill with her face smushed right into the screen soaking up as much fresh air as possible. It looked fun to me so I joined her in a smushed screen face contest. As we stared out at the front yard I asked if there was anything she wanted to talk about. I was prepared for a Miley Cyrus trivia question or maybe a joke from her new book, but I was NOT prepared for the question I got.
She looked at me with such a serious face and said, "Dad, do you ever wonder what your purpose in life is"? My brain shifted into overdrive. In my mind I am thinking, "Are you kidding me? This is what you are thinking about at bedtime"?? I took a deep breath to buy some time and then prayed one of those incredibly fast prayers like,"OhDearLordPleaseHelpMeAnswerThisQuestionCorrectlySoAsNotToScarMyChildForLife"!!!!
I asked her why she was wondering about this and she said that she felt like she was the only one in the family without a purpose. She began to go through the other five members of our family and tell me her perceptions of what they do well and how it was of service to others. She just didn't feel like she had anything to offer.
I was sad at first as I listened, but then I realized that God was giving me a wonderful opportunity at the end of the day to AFFIRM my daughter. I don't have any sons, but I do know that girls need affirmation and as a Dad I am highly qualified for this job. I first shared with her how proud I was of the fact that she was 7 years old and searching for purpose in her life. I confessed that I never really considered such things until much later in life and always felt like I wasted so many years just coasting through each day with no real direction. I then began to speak words of encouragement over this girl of mine and telling her all of the things that SHE does well. As I began to rattle off my long list I could instantly see a transformation in her countenance. She had gone from a somber, serious face to a smiling more relaxed look. I quickly realized the power of encouraging words and vowed to not only begin to find the positives in my kids, but also to TELL THEM to their faces. Furthermore, I explained to her that the gifts she has are God-given specifically for her to realize her purpose in life. She doesn't ever have to worry about not having one of her sister's talents because she doesn't have the same things to accomplish in life as they do.
Life seemed to all make sense in that moment. I went to my bedroom that night and opened the window. Before I fell asleep I moved as close to the screen as possible and began thanking God for my precious children who on this day taught me an important lesson. I asked for His forgiveness for not spending enough time searching for my daily purpose in this life. I fell asleep with a cool breeze on my face and the peace in my heart of knowing that tomorrow was a new day to accomplish all that God has in store. That's MY kind of "screen time"!
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
The Can
"Let's do it", I said with a crazed look in my eyes. Thanksgiving was just around the corner and my wife and I had just decided to go spend the holiday with some of my family just south of Nashville. This wasn't the crazy part though. We then decided that on the most crowded shopping day of the year, which just happens to be the day AFTER Thanksgiving, we would venture to the Opry Mills Mall with our four small girls. If we were still alive we would then go see the Christmas lights at Opryland Hotel. "It will be fun", I muttered to myself. I figured if I kept preparing for the absolute worst experience of my life then anything would be an improvement.
Thanksgiving Day was great although we grew a bit weary of answering the same question over and over again. "Now why on earth would you want to go shopping at that mall on the busiest day of the year"? That question rang in my ears all night, but the following day found us working our way through loads of traffic, followed by several laps around the parking lot waiting for that person walking slowly to their car looking beat up from the crowds. I'll have to be honest in saying that our shopping experience went quite well, and the girls were quickly transitioning into Christmas mode. By late afternoon I was ready to try and beat the traffic to Opryland for the lights. Yes!! I found a back way out of the mall and was able to get in front of the line for the lights. As we pulled in I saw a sign saying, 12 DOLLARS CASH ONLY. I was stunned that they were charging everyone to wander through the hotel, but then my stomach knotted as I realized that I had NO CASH. I NEVER have cash anymore in this debit card society. Who has CASH???? I begin to groan as I see cars lined up behind me waiting. I was just about to leave the line and go in search of an ATM machine when I heard the sweet voice of my oldest daughter exclaim, "I have twelve dollars"!! "You're kidding. How do YOU have twelve dollars", I asked. The girl had saved her chore money and brought her purse on the trip because she knew we were going shopping. Twelve dollars was ALL she had and she happily passed it forward. I gleefully handed it to the attendant and we went right on in.
As the night wore on I kept thinking about my daughter's sacrifice which ushered us into a wonderful family night at Opryland. I still have so many great memories of that trip, but her sacrifice will always stand out. As we drove home the next day I began having flashbacks to my childhood remembering THE CAN. It was a joke at my house because I was a very stingy kid with money. Every birthday and Christmas Day I would take the money I received and take it to THE CAN which was kept in a secret spot in my closet. My family joked about THE CAN, but nobody ever knew where it was. Sometimes I would get my money out and dust it off before counting it and locking it away again. As I drove I began to get teary because I realized that if my own father had been in that same predicament at Opryland, I would have stayed SILENT!! There was no way I would have ever opened up my can and offered my own money for the enjoyment of my entire family. How sad. As a Dad I am always looking for teachable moments with my kids and here was one served up on a silver platter.
When we got home I purposely allowed three days to go by without saying a word about reimbursing my daughter's generosity. I wanted to see if she would ever come ask for it back. Truthfully, I wasn't surprised that she never did. On the third day after the schoolwork was complete I asked her to come to her room. I then asked her to sit at her desk and open her Bible to 2 Corinthians 9 and begin reading. When she got to verse 7 and read that God loves a cheerful giver I said, "STOP"! I asked her to read that line over and over again. I explained to her how much it meant to me for her to so willingly share her money with our family. I explained about my selfish childhood days with THE CAN and thanked her for teaching me a great lesson. I then asked her to hold out her hand as I started placing one dollar bills into her palm. I counted out THIRTEEN ones and then told her that when she is faithful with what God has given her, He will always bless her back with more than she started. I am thankful that God's Promises are true with finances and that since then she has seen many other examples of God's faithfulness with her money. I am just a Dad who is very thankful that THE CAN is a thing of the past in my house.
Thanksgiving Day was great although we grew a bit weary of answering the same question over and over again. "Now why on earth would you want to go shopping at that mall on the busiest day of the year"? That question rang in my ears all night, but the following day found us working our way through loads of traffic, followed by several laps around the parking lot waiting for that person walking slowly to their car looking beat up from the crowds. I'll have to be honest in saying that our shopping experience went quite well, and the girls were quickly transitioning into Christmas mode. By late afternoon I was ready to try and beat the traffic to Opryland for the lights. Yes!! I found a back way out of the mall and was able to get in front of the line for the lights. As we pulled in I saw a sign saying, 12 DOLLARS CASH ONLY. I was stunned that they were charging everyone to wander through the hotel, but then my stomach knotted as I realized that I had NO CASH. I NEVER have cash anymore in this debit card society. Who has CASH???? I begin to groan as I see cars lined up behind me waiting. I was just about to leave the line and go in search of an ATM machine when I heard the sweet voice of my oldest daughter exclaim, "I have twelve dollars"!! "You're kidding. How do YOU have twelve dollars", I asked. The girl had saved her chore money and brought her purse on the trip because she knew we were going shopping. Twelve dollars was ALL she had and she happily passed it forward. I gleefully handed it to the attendant and we went right on in.
As the night wore on I kept thinking about my daughter's sacrifice which ushered us into a wonderful family night at Opryland. I still have so many great memories of that trip, but her sacrifice will always stand out. As we drove home the next day I began having flashbacks to my childhood remembering THE CAN. It was a joke at my house because I was a very stingy kid with money. Every birthday and Christmas Day I would take the money I received and take it to THE CAN which was kept in a secret spot in my closet. My family joked about THE CAN, but nobody ever knew where it was. Sometimes I would get my money out and dust it off before counting it and locking it away again. As I drove I began to get teary because I realized that if my own father had been in that same predicament at Opryland, I would have stayed SILENT!! There was no way I would have ever opened up my can and offered my own money for the enjoyment of my entire family. How sad. As a Dad I am always looking for teachable moments with my kids and here was one served up on a silver platter.
When we got home I purposely allowed three days to go by without saying a word about reimbursing my daughter's generosity. I wanted to see if she would ever come ask for it back. Truthfully, I wasn't surprised that she never did. On the third day after the schoolwork was complete I asked her to come to her room. I then asked her to sit at her desk and open her Bible to 2 Corinthians 9 and begin reading. When she got to verse 7 and read that God loves a cheerful giver I said, "STOP"! I asked her to read that line over and over again. I explained to her how much it meant to me for her to so willingly share her money with our family. I explained about my selfish childhood days with THE CAN and thanked her for teaching me a great lesson. I then asked her to hold out her hand as I started placing one dollar bills into her palm. I counted out THIRTEEN ones and then told her that when she is faithful with what God has given her, He will always bless her back with more than she started. I am thankful that God's Promises are true with finances and that since then she has seen many other examples of God's faithfulness with her money. I am just a Dad who is very thankful that THE CAN is a thing of the past in my house.
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